Today is my last day as an unemployed bum because starting tomorrow, I will work as a technical writer for Emerson. This is my fourth job since I've started working in 2008 but I'm still not used to the feeling of starting again at the bottom of the employment chain.
Even though I have been working for four years now, I still feel like a fresh grad whenever I'm hired to a new company. It's as if everything that I have learned as an employee disappears during my first day. There are so many what-ifs crowding my mind right now. What if I won't be able to fit in with my colleagues? What if the job is so boring that I would spend the whole day watching the clock and wishing it's time to go home? What if I won't be able to cope with the workload? What if I suck as a technical writer that my manager has no choice but to fire me? Call me paranoid, but the anxiety is killing me.
Honestly, I want this job to be my last. I'm tired of going to interviews, of the anxiety of waiting if you're hired and the disappointment if you're not. I know there is no perfect employer, but I want to find one that would give me reasons to stay with them for 10 years and more. A lot is riding on my success on this new endeavor. I am now seriously preparing for my future—saving up for our wedding and our life after that—so I definitely need all the cash and benefits that I can get from this. Haha.
I'm just worried about adjusting with the culture and the people in my new company. I guess I was traumatized by my previous job, where most of the people are almost 20 years older than me. Can you imagine how quiet it was in our office? I was lonely during my whole stay there, with only a handful of friends to talk to. It was a miracle that I stayed there for as long as I did (9 months, my shortest employment stint yet). Now I'm scared that the same thing would happen to me in my new job, that the generation gap would be too wide to bridge. The only difference now is that if ever I get fed up with my job, I wouldn't have the luxury to resign then and there, what with the impending wedding and all. So if all else fails, I guess I just have to accept it and do everything I can to be comfortable in my new environment.
Still, I hope everything would work out for the best. I know this would be difficult at first. I know that it would be awkward in my first day at work because I would still be the meek and shy new girl. But I know that I will get through it and soon, everything will fall into place. So here's to the beginning of a new chapter in my work life. It's time to face the adventures that this new endeavor will bring. Aja! :)
Even though I have been working for four years now, I still feel like a fresh grad whenever I'm hired to a new company. It's as if everything that I have learned as an employee disappears during my first day. There are so many what-ifs crowding my mind right now. What if I won't be able to fit in with my colleagues? What if the job is so boring that I would spend the whole day watching the clock and wishing it's time to go home? What if I won't be able to cope with the workload? What if I suck as a technical writer that my manager has no choice but to fire me? Call me paranoid, but the anxiety is killing me.
Honestly, I want this job to be my last. I'm tired of going to interviews, of the anxiety of waiting if you're hired and the disappointment if you're not. I know there is no perfect employer, but I want to find one that would give me reasons to stay with them for 10 years and more. A lot is riding on my success on this new endeavor. I am now seriously preparing for my future—saving up for our wedding and our life after that—so I definitely need all the cash and benefits that I can get from this. Haha.
I'm just worried about adjusting with the culture and the people in my new company. I guess I was traumatized by my previous job, where most of the people are almost 20 years older than me. Can you imagine how quiet it was in our office? I was lonely during my whole stay there, with only a handful of friends to talk to. It was a miracle that I stayed there for as long as I did (9 months, my shortest employment stint yet). Now I'm scared that the same thing would happen to me in my new job, that the generation gap would be too wide to bridge. The only difference now is that if ever I get fed up with my job, I wouldn't have the luxury to resign then and there, what with the impending wedding and all. So if all else fails, I guess I just have to accept it and do everything I can to be comfortable in my new environment.
Still, I hope everything would work out for the best. I know this would be difficult at first. I know that it would be awkward in my first day at work because I would still be the meek and shy new girl. But I know that I will get through it and soon, everything will fall into place. So here's to the beginning of a new chapter in my work life. It's time to face the adventures that this new endeavor will bring. Aja! :)
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